No action for weeks in a row, and you worry about not having enough sex. Read on to find out the possible reasons and how you can deal with them
A BORING BED
When stacks of old newspapers and magazines replace flower petals, it’s an indication that something is terribly wrong with the way you treat your bed. Let’s accept it. It’s hard to even think so sex when your spouse is busy on his laptop and you can’t stop checking your cellphone messages. These things are not only major distractions when it comes to sex but also hamper your relationship with your partner. SOLUTION: You put your cellphone on silent when you meet your client for an important meeting. Apply the same rule while in bed. Kick those high-tech gadgets out of the bedroom and invent some new styles of love making.
PILL PROBLEM
You rely on oral contraceptives so as to go all the way without having to worry about pregnancy issues. However, the irony is that those same ‘worry free’ pills are responsible for your crashing sex drive. However, that’s not it. Medicines that are often prescribed to deal with high blood pressure, anxiety issues and depression can also have an adverse impact on your sex drive.
SOLUTION: Consult your doctor on the side effects of drugs and discuss if an alternative is possible. For contraception, you may want to rely on condoms or Copper T.
YOUR CRAZY, BUSY LIFE
You are no superhuman and it’s high time you accepted it. Multi-tasking between office and home leaves you so drained by the end of the day that having dinner with your eyes open is an achievement. Your body has a certain capacity and over-exertion and tiredness doesn’t
spare your performance in bed.
SOLUTION: When that sexual urge is missing, it’s time to pamper yourself and your partner. You can’t expect your partner to be turned on when you smell like a dead fish, right? So, ask him/her to join you for a relaxing warm water bath. Set the right mood with some aphrodisiac aroma oils and see the fire rekindle.
BAD BODY IMAGE
The glossy magazines and mammoth billboards define your perception of what qualifies as ‘sexy’. Anything more (or less) than the Kareena Kapoor’s size zero is considered unattractive and not good enough. This over-obsession with weight and curves is why many women
show symptoms of withdrawal
and are not willing to experiment in bed.
SOLUTION: If
you feel your partner is facing insecurity issues, compliments can do wonders for her self-esteem. When you come close, say things like ‘You have the most beautiful eyes’ or ‘I like your curves’. When she is reassured that you like her the way she is, her sex drive will automatically get a boost.
HE’S NOT INTO IT
Men also show withdrawal symptoms in bed. He may be having a hard time expressing his feelings or he may want you to be a little more adventurous in bed. It can also be that he can’t take his mind off the on-going office problems. It’s true that men have a higher appetite for sex but it doesn’t mean that they don’t have their share of problems to deal with.
SOLUTION: Don’t play the blame game. Yes, the woman may feel rejected, may infer that
something’s
w r o n g
with her and even make drastic assumptions that her partner is cheating on her. The key is to be patient and discuss the topic gently to know what exactly is on your man’s mind.
YOU ARE DEPRESSED
There are phases when life simply doesn’t seem to head on the right track. When you are not feeling very good about yourself, your sex life is the first to get affected. And as mentioned earlier, even if anti-depressants pull you out of the situation, they do no good for your sex drive.
SOLUTION: Medicines are not the only way to come out of depression. Psychotherapy can be effective in many cases. Regular exercising also enhances mood and energy levels.
VIAGRA-ISED
Men turn to Viagra for better performance but many a times forget that sex is not just a pill-popping exercise. When everything revolves around intercourse, women may feel physically and emotionally disconnected with their partner. Women need more time to get ready and the disparity hampers the sex life to a great extent.
SOLUTION: The key lies in healthy
and nonjudgmental discussion. Ask
your woman what she needs and
make sure you do as told
